Thoughtfulness and Understanding - Urvashi Uniyal

Looking up another word for thoughtfulness in the dictionary will provide you with synonyms like attention to detail, kind-hearted, consideration, etc. It says thoughtfulness is the art of dealing with people sensitively and tactfully. It is the thoughtfulness that has led to new discoveries and the evolution of humankind. 

According to Confucius, “If there were one word that could act as a standard of conduct for one's entire life, perhaps it would be thoughtfulness.” For expressing our love or care to a person, first, we need to be thoughtful. We need to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes, needs and dreams, behaviour and attitude, and strengths and weaknesses. Only then we will be able to love and care for them. It might look like a heavy task in the beginning, but its fruits are delightful. A mother becomes a great mother only because she is thoughtful towards every need of her child. Similarly, every character can be great if they are thoughtful towards their environment and the people in their surroundings. Sometimes, you have to be thoughtful to other people who don’t really deserve it in life. Although they don’t deserve it, you have to choose to be thoughtful to them because it makes you a better person. It only takes a moment out of your day to be thoughtful to others. Just a simple, pleasant word, a gentle smile, or a good deed could end up meaning the world to someone else. 

Thoughtfulness makes the world a much better place.

Understanding is deeper than knowledge because many people know you, but very few understand you. People who understand others pick up emotional cues like non-verbal communication and body language and show sensitivity towards others and understand their perspectives. They also listen well to what people are saying and actively checking their understanding. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Understanding others does not mean that you have to agree with their feelings or point of view. Instead, it means that you recognize their point of view and accept that it is different from yours. Train yourself to ask the question, "How does this situation appear to the other person?" The goal here is not to be a mind reader or know with certainty what the other person is thinking. All you need to do is imagine what it would be like to be that person and make some reasonable guesses about what that person is thinking or feeling. Once you understand people well, it will be your second nature to be thoughtful and empathise with them.

- Urvashi Uniyal, The Doon Girls School Dehradun

References: The thoughtful me family encore; MBTI: understanding self and others