Violence as an Immature Communication Strategy

 

Masterclass

To reframe violence as an immature communication strategy and advocate for student self-reliance. Reading from the book The Courage To Be Happy by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Key Takeaways

• Violence is an immature communication strategy. It’s a low-cost, high-effort shortcut to force submission when verbal consensus fails. This includes non-physical acts, such as rebuking, which Adler called “anger that pulls people apart.”

• Shift from cause to goal. Instead of focusing on who is to blame (“bad person” vs. “poor me”), guide students to focus on “What should I do from now on?” to foster responsibility and self-reliance.

• Educators must foster self-reliance. The core task is to help students gain the awareness that they can accomplish things on their own. This requires a horizontal relationship, not a vertical one built on authority.

• The reward is the feeling of contribution. Expecting student gratitude hinders self-reliance. True happiness comes from contributing to their growth, not from being thanked.

Topics

Violence as an Immature Communication Strategy

• Violence is a shortcut to force submission when verbal communication fails to achieve consensus.

• This includes non-physical acts, such as rebuking, which is a low-cost attempt to force submission.

• Adler’s view: “Anger is an emotion that pulls people apart.” It invites contempt and reveals the adult’s immaturity, undermining respect.

The “Triangular Column” Framework

• This framework helps analyse conflict by identifying three perspectives:

  1. “That bad person”: The perceived aggressor.

  2. “Poor me”: The perceived victim.

  3. “What should I do from now on?”: The forward-looking, goal-oriented perspective.

• Focusing on the first two only yields excuses. The goal is to guide students to the third perspective.

Fostering Self-Reliance

• Problem: Adults often hinder self-reliance by creating dependence.

  • Reason 1: Fear of losing authority in a vertical relationship.

  • Reason 2: Self-protection—avoiding responsibility for student failures.

• Solution: Create a horizontal relationship where students can make their own decisions.

  • Separation of Tasks: Don’t intervene in tasks where the student bears the final responsibility.

  • Support, don’t control: Provide knowledge and experience, but let students choose their own paths.

Next Steps

• Gurdeep Kaur: Write a reflection on the quote “Anger is an emotion that pulls people apart.”

• All Participants:

  • Join the “My Good School” session tomorrow.

  • Continue the discussion in the WhatsApp group.

• Sandeep Dutt: Resume the masterclass on Saturday, April 4, from the current bookmark.

FATHOM AI-generated notes, read with care.

शोर से सीख तक: बच्चों से जुड़कर कक्षा को सकारात्मक बनाना - सुनीता त्रिपाठी

आज जब मैं कक्षा में प्रवेश की तो बच्चे बहुत शोर कर रहे थे। कोई कागज की जहाज उड़ा रहा था, कोई हंस रहा था, तो कोई अपनी जगह से उठकर इधर-उधर घूम रहे थे, एक पल के लिए लगा कि मैं क्या करूं, लेकिन फिर मैंने सोचा अगर मैं उनके साथ जुड़ जाऊं तो शायद वह मुझे बेहतर समझ पाएंगे। मैंने मुस्कुराते हुए बच्चों से कहा, "चलो पहले हम सब एक छोटा सा खेल खेलते हैं। मैंने उनके साथ ताली बजाकर एक छोटा सा राइम गीत शुरू किया। जैसे लालाजी ने केला खाया। केला खाकर मुंह पिचकाया। 

धीरे-धीरे सभी बच्चे उसे खेल में शामिल हो गए कक्षा का शोर अब हंसी और खुशी में बदल गया जब सबका मन शांत और खुश हो गया तब मैंने प्यार से कहा, देखो बच्चों जब हम मिलकर खेलते हैं तो कितना अच्छा लगता है इस तरह अगर हम मिलकर पढ़ेंगे तो हम और भी अच्छा सीखेंगें। उसके बाद बच्चे अब पूरी तरह शांत हो गए थे और ध्यान लगाकर बात सुन रहे थे। इससे यह सीखने को मिला कि पहले मुझे बच्चों से जुड़ना पड़ा। बच्चों के साथ जितना ज्यादा से ज्यादा समय बिताना, उनकी ऊर्जा सही दिशा में उपयोग ला सकता है। 

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